All change...is good!

'If...But...I miss you!' Acrylic on Bockingford 24cm x 30cm

Since the summer, much in my life has changed and after a long period of being unable to spend time in the studio, I finally got back in the saddle. After a review of the work I did leading up to the exhibition, it felt time to take a break from the deep and meaningful surrealist style for something a little more light hearted.

This step and decision to try something completely new and very different was a difficult one to take, as a 'proper' artist seems to retain a subject and style, and many stay committed only to that. Creatively it is a step that I need to take though and so the change has been necessary and hopefully successful!

My long standing fascination with 50s fashions, style, furnishings, lifestyle and books combined with my love of tattoos has lead me to try my hand at a contemporary twist on 50s pin up girls. I love the cheekiness without the crude, in your face sexual connotations. Typically work by artists like Gil Elgrin I love dearly, although Alberto Vargas' work is also stunning!

I am currently researching pin up artists and thoroughly enjoying the process. Current pin up artists like Ralph Burch and Olivia De Berardinis show very different styles, both of which I admire but do not wish to directly emulate.

The first pin up I have created 'If...But...I miss you!' took quite a while to design, to try and find something close to the style I want to achieve, and also to find the right medium and support. I am very pleased with the finished result but can see with more experience of this style, my confidence will improve and hopefully the paintings will grow with me.

I feel very at ease with this style, love every single pencil mark and brush stroke....the subject is so typically me, right to the core...and for now I want to explore this road, even if it does shatter some illusions of being a 'proper artist'.

The painting can be bought on Ebay, ending 8th November 2009...thankyou for looking!

Journey - Private View

Well the night finally arrived for the Private View of my first solo show 'Journey' at the Hive Gallery. I was very nervous, but in the end so busy chatting to folk that I didn't even get in to see my work until 8.40pm.

People travelled from far and wide, wonderful people that came to support me. Some took time off work, and for that I am truly humbled.

The night was more than I could have asked for, in excess of 80 people came along, the sun shone and I became new best friends with Gin and Tonic...unsure how I missed that one before, very nice drink. My former lecturers came, Jan and Denn, and as ever Denn gave me some ribbing. My son wowed people and organised as much as possible...he even wanted to sell my business cards, little monkey!

I got a great deal of positive feedback, all the worries about my head being out there on canvas, I need not have done...for some it wasn't their thing, but that's to be expected. People were generally very positive...even Denn...and *blush* Jan wanted my signature.

When I did finally get into see my work, I was chatting to someone about the egg that is inside one of the assemblages, its meaning, how I achieved it etc. When I looked up a very crowded gallery were all listening and watching....a very scary moment!

Thank you to all the people that came, made this once in a lifetime show (I will never have another first show) a wonderful evening with fantastic memories to cherish forever.

After the show a fair few of us piled into the pub, and that was excellent too...many giggles, a chance to catch up a bit with friends I love but don't get to see too often. Then a very small group of us came to my house and chatted and laughed the night away till about 2.40am...I didn't want it to end!

Now I am working on getting the photographs and videos up that relate to the show. Had some technical problems, but its certainly getting there! Hoping to upload for all to see very soon.

My exhibition continues to run until the 16th August at the Hive Gallery, Elsecar. Opening times 12 - 4 Thursday to Sunday. If you are heading down there and fancy a natter, drop me a line and it would be nice to come down and meet you. My work from the show is for sale now too, if you require a price on a specific painting before I manage to get a shop working, please don't hesitate to get in touch. Commissioned work is also available.

Finally another huge thank you to everyone for attending, and to all my Twitter lovelies that supported me on my journey to actually get there! A special thank you too to my Husband Darren Morris for his support in so many ways, my beautiful unstoppable son Hayden for just being who he is, my best friend Mat for all his unwavering support in the hard bits...and last but by no means least to Tracey Johnson for her support and making the gallery a great place, oh and painting the floor with hours to go! A beautiful lady that I hope will be a good friend for many years to come.

Apothecary's Chest

Acrylic on box canvas, 50cm x 50cm x 4 piecesPLEASE NOTE: A better photograph will be provided of this painting shortly.

Apothecary's Chest was inspired by its title, which came along in a book around the time I took delivery of Stan the stage prop. I researched what an Apothecary was and found it was an old name for a healer.
An Apothecary's Chest was the chest of drawers he/she had someone else carry which contained a whole manner of items in order to heal the people. This inspired the idea of the 7 Sins, ancient yet modern ailments that cannot be healed, even by an Apothecary. Here is my interpretation, visually, of the 7 sins:
Cigar - GreedChocolates - GluttonyPoison Ivy - EnvyLipstick - LustPeacock feather - VanityBroken bottle - AngerBubbles - Sloth

Gnothi Seauton

Assemblage

24in x 12in x 43in

Polystyrene, acrylic paint, feathers, duck egg, stone.

Picture to be revealed 31 July 2009, after Private View of my first solo exhibition, Journey.

Exhibition from 31st July to 16th Aug 2009 at the Hive Gallery.

There will be a 360 degree video of the assemblage on my site, on this date.

Gnothi Seauton, latin for Know Thyself. This assemblage features part of the poem by Alexandra Pope 1688-1744

...Alike in ignorance, his reason such

Whether he thinks too little or too much:

Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;... on the front of the assemblage made from a polystyrene stage prop, affectionately known as Stan the Man. The concept behind this artwork is a further exploration of the inner fragility we all posses. The hollow inner of the prop is lined with luxuriously soft pure white feathers, representing how delicate and beautiful we all are on the inside. On a feather covered pedestal in this cavern is a duck egg which has carved into it the simple Mickey Mouse logo, to show how we don't always take ourselves seriously. Contained within the egg is a peacock feather, a symbol of the soul, held captive within such a fragile object. The clouds and blue sky painted onto the front exterior of the assemblage reminds us that the sky really is the limit, boundless dreams can come true if only we take ourselves seriously and listen to those inner feelings and thoughts, our driving innate spirit....

Diva - Dramatis Personae

Assemblage

8in x 8in x 13 in

Breeze block, glass, plastic, enamel, human hair.

Picture to be revealed 31 July 2009, after Private View of my first solo exhibition, Journey.

Exhibition from 31st July to 16th Aug 2009 at the Hive Gallery.

There will be a 360 degree video of the assemblage on my site, on this date.

Diva - Dramatis Peronae, affectionately known as Maud, is the first assemblage I have embarked upon. The concept behind this assemblage is the inner self always remaining young and true to the innate spirit we have within all of us. Whilst the outer shell plays the many different roles we perform throughout our lives, often a bigger over dramatised version of the inner self, stimulated by our surroundings and societies expectations fuelled by the media in its massively influential forms.

Diva also expresses the inner child, the feeling inside where we never grow old, even though we make our way through the various stages of life, that inner child remains young, free, but often trapped by others expectations of us.

The Control Theory Formula (Lyapunov) that is scribed onto the rear of the inner head, represents that the inner self, even if we are unaware, is often in control anyway, and to live authentically and be happy, giving full control to the childlike spirit within, brings the most fulfilment.

Invisble Dreamer

Acrylic on canvas paper 9 x 18.5in

Invisible Dreamer was unfortunately left out of my blog, but was completed some time ago, around February 2009. The image was one of the first surreal paintings I embarked on, but was fuelled by Modern Man and paintings in that similar series.
The puppeteers hand is still ultimately controlled by another source higher up the 'food' chain. Once the hooks are in its almost impossible to escape. The puppet is motionless, defeated, in the check mate that is life in the Western world. Caught in the trappings of work, finance and climbing invisible ladders, not really knowing if that ladder is indeed lent against the right wall.
The plum blossom represents a glimmer of hope, that all is never what it seems and from small buds of hope, you can blossom in to a world that you can make your very own.

Rollercoaster

Well here I am at 13.48pm on 4th July 2009 hurtling at breakneck speed towards my show, here at the Hive Gallery. I am sat here in the gallery looking after it while Tracey is away, its voluntary and I love it, even after two weeks of 4 hours with the same dvd going around and around, and the projector giving up the ghost at any opportunity it likes!

The private view of my first solo exhibition takes place here at 7pm on the 30th July 2009, it seemed an eon away when I first booked it. I booked it originally to force myself into a routine of work, as my son had just started full time school giving me more time to paint. The time is easy to whittle away though, with out a goal. I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I really didn't think it through at that point. I booked it with that sole purpose in mind and that was as far as it went.

Now I am 24 days 5 hours and 9 minutes from the private view. GULP! Actually I am pretty chuffed with my little self, as I gave myself 6 months to get some work done, after most of my previous work was sold and I hadn't really painted since Hayden was born due to Post Natal Depression and a series of operations. That was the beginning of my Journey, and my aim to get some work completed that I was proud of, which I have managed. Another sub aim was not to go rearranging the gallery date, ie postponing it. Ok I admit I thought about it, more to do with nerves than lack of work, but no, I am here and my work will be hung on the 28th July 2009 ready.

Its been a long journey to date, this past 6 months, learning to take myself and my work seriously enough to feel 'worthy' of putting on my own exhibition. I still have doubts from time to time, my inner Diva screams the place down in a massive stressed strop, but once shes safely tucked up back in her box I actually believe I can pull this off!

Its a pretty scary ride, as some of my artwork prior to Hayden being born had little direction, did not fulfil me creatively as it could, and sole aim was for sale. From January I gave myself 'permission' to create whatever I wanted without the usual constraints of commercial appeal etc. I have given myself 2 years till January 2011 to see where this path in my life takes me. I now paint with heart and soul, its my head out there on the canvases and assemblages, a chance for people to see what makes me tick, what gives me fire in my belly, how I think....and sadly of course to judge me. Its that bit which scares me.

I have invited people from many different periods in my life, some people I haven't seen for years, and some I have never even met. The thought of them all in one room makes me want to run for the hills! Equally though it excites me, to show people that have helped me consciously or inadvertently just by crossing my path in big ways or small, what I have achieved. I try not to think about it too much for the sake of my own sanity, what they think matters to me, even though ultimately its me, myself and I.

I have no one to blame if this goes belly up. I have no excuses if I am criticised. I have no where to run and hide if I am laughed at.....its all my own doing! But through those thoughts I have reached the point where it feels authentic, true to who I am and what I am trying to achieve but most of all the ultimate in living my life the way I want to....I am living my dream, this is it and it really doesn't get any better!

For all the long nights, the staying in when I want to be playing out, the frustrations, the knee knocking wobblies, living each day doing what I truly love to my very core is the way to go. I count myself as very lucky to be experiencing this in my life, no matter what happens. Even if the show leads nowhere, is a disaster, no one turns up....I did it, I did what I set out to do and carried it through, and I am proud of that.

I am currently painting my final piece for the show, 'Apothecary's Chest' a painting over four canvases, and simultaneously working on another assemblage. I probably would not have ventured into the 3D world again had I not been doing this show, and am thoroughly enjoying exploring my artwork in a three dimensional way...I have come full circle as I started out in my career doing three dimensional design (Industrial).....its a funny old world!

Anyway I have a show to plan, sketch walls on to bits of graph paper and figure out exactly what will be including.....on with the show!

Perfringo!

Acrylic on box canvas 24in x24in

Perfringo! is the Latin word for shatter, breakthrough. This painting is a celebration of the discovery of a new way of thinking, the inner duality caused by social conditioning, can be fought and defeated....leaving you free to be authentically you to fly!

The butterfly represents freedom and blossoming of the individual and the ivy tells the tale of entrenched thinking and societal expectations holding us back...it needn't when trusting and thinking for yourself.

Three Theorems

Acrylic on box canvas, 36in x 24in

Three Theorems is a painting to link my forthcoming show at the Hive gallery, to the other artists show on at the same time, Adrian Pritchard. His exhibition is called Unstrung Theory and encompasses strings of paint. 
I began by researching the String theory, which lead me a merry dance into other theories and equations, and my mind being what it is came up with this ensemble of objects. The Butterfly represents just that, the Butterfly (Chaos) theory and the apple, Newtons theory of Gravity. The sky and dandelion represent time and space, while the violin has close connections with Adrians title of unstrung theory.
I thoroughly enjoyed this painting, it was challenging technically. I am ready for a slight change in direction now and hope to be working on a male nude painting or some surreal type sketches, although I will get around to both in the fullness of time...all being well! 

Journey

Wallpaper by Phigment

Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. Took a midnight train, going anywhere....Don't Stop Believing, Journey.
Very Oddly for me, I actually feel like blogging. The image above is not mine, but is gorgeous and sums up visually me and where I am at right now. For those that don't know, my 'tuther name is moon, a name that came about many moons ago through the Internet and I just feel an affinity with, more so my name than my own (given to me by parents).
Right now I am working towards my first solo exhibition....its scary, exciting and allot of hard work. Since Hayden went to full time school in January 2009 I gave myself two years from that point to make a go of the art career. With this I have given myself 'permission' to paint whatever I want, not to a commercial market, but things that make me tick, that feeds the fire in my belly, that make me feel alive...to want to live the dream.
Things are moving at a fast pace, my invitations are winging their way to me, printed on large format postcards. My list keeps growing of who to invite, requests keep coming in, so its all go. I am obsessing about what dress to wear, although thanks to some wonderful Twitter friends, and my best mate Mat, I think that is sorted...it will be a spotty pencils dress, 50s style. Probably not the norm, but I never did that very well anyway!
I try and place myself in the gallery on the night and my stomach takes on a life of its own, I am very excited, but believe it or not can feel very shy and self conscious...although outwardly I seem confident and outgoing (which I feel most of the time). Its a tricky thing having that much attention, and as a note to self I will NOT be making a little speech, and have instructed people on this too, even if after a couple of glasses of tiddlypops I think its a great idea, no no no...don't let me lol. I will save those bits for the celebrations across at the pub afterwards.
Its going to be an amazing experience, having people there that I haven't seen in years, mixing with my current life peeps....like my life flashing before my eyes, I just hope my work doesn't disappoint all those people that have made me who I am today. Thank you by the way, to everyone who has crossed my path in anyway, shape or form...for without you and even the smallest interaction, I would not be doing this :-)
My exhibition is called Journey, due to it being a snap shot into the beginnings of my current one, and also because of the song....Don't Stop Believing, is a great moto to live by.
For now I must go, paint some more, it won't do itself....and if my strange ramblings have you intrigued at all, drop me a line, always nice to Tweet new peeps...so long, farewell, fellow travellers.

Cradle to Grave

acrylic on box canvas 40cm x 50cm
Cradle to Grave was conceived with the idea of entering it into a competition, the only really eligible category was still life, so that's what I set out to do. This painting shows beginnings to endings, ie the egg is representative of the start and the dying tulip a symbol of the end. Loosely in my mind the books describe knowledge gained throughout life, and the wall solid foundations.
I have always been fascinated with tulips, their very surreal dying phase as they wither away. I also love the juxtaposition of very unrelated things being forced together to tell a story. I particularly enjoyed including a Tromp L'Oeil frame on a box canvas, giving the viewer a framed perspective on another world.
I thoroughly enjoyed this painting and it will be featured in my forth coming solo exhibition Journey 27th July 2009, as well as in promotion and literature for the event. I have chosen not to submit this piece to the competition now as I think my show should take priority at this time.
Its also a piece that I would like to continue into a series, to see where this Journey takes me.

Moons Echo

Acrylic on box canvas 20in x 30in
Moons Echo was conceived after seeing a picture by another artist in a very different medium. Although my painting bares little resemblance to that picture it was the inspiration and catalyst for this painting. The male nude is bound by chains in an academic world where all his hopes and dreams are floating away. The painting also shows that unseen forces hold the ends of the chains which are not fastened, even though they swaddle the man. 
The two faces represent youth and maturity, a life lived by someone elses standards and series of life events. The painting does however offer hope, as the chains remain unbound and the knowledge of a life lived can serve him to find that the world truly is his oyster, and to shoot for the moon.

Modern Man

Acrylic 24in x36in box canvas
Modern man was originally called The Persistence of Memory but throughout the painting, it became more disturbing to me and less about memory and more about the trials of 21st Century life. A fellow Twitterer,  Corey Cochran, sent a Tweet stating that the painting evoked in him that its how many people feel right now, so with this the name changed to Modern Man.
I wanted to show the inner turmoil felt by many men being chained to a life they had not envisaged as part of their life plan, a creative step along from Delirium pro tempore. Being bound and trussed on all levels into a roundabout life of confusion, dissatisfaction, with someone else holding the chains that bind. An almost impossible life that is only just tolerable, but keeps us bound by previous life choices like marriage, career, children and all the other social pressures we have heaped upon ourselves.
We all make choices day to day, big ones, small ones, all of which we cannot completely comprehend the full consequences of, two months, or 20 years down the line....Modern Man is my interpretation of this.
Its been a difficult painting to execute, at one point I was ready to give it up. The image as it evolved was disturbing, touching on feelings with in me of vunerability, both personally and in that of showing the piece, and gave way to memories for me of suffering Post Natal Depression, being tied to a life I wasn't ready to live, that of a baby, marriage etc. With support from some wonderful people on Twitter I persevered and this is the result...and as Corey put it 'it strikes emotion, good or bad, that's what art should do'.
Note: a huge thankyou to @anartistexposed, @ronnietucker, @curly768, and  @Shifty77 for their support and encouragement doing this painting, without you it would be consigned to file b1N.

Delirium pro Tempore

Acrylic 10in x14in box canvas


Delirium pro Tempore is a snap shot of the fleeting insanity felt when communications are so misunderstood, especially between men and women. Sometimes I find the opposite sex completely unfathomable, and have seen that I provoke this same sense of impossible~ness of thinking to the men in my life, past and present.
I wanted the piece to scream without screaming, speak without speaking and convey the all consuming frustration that is felt when finding someone elses opinions and thought processes totally impossible to get the head around, or that the language may as well be that of another planet for all the sense it makes. I enjoyed the disturbing nature of this painting, achieving something that shouts from a silent object is something I am proud of.

Encore

Acrylic 24in x 24in on box canvas

Encore was a continuation of Curtains up, the theatre of arguments and sometimes the unenviable position of provoking violence, when the argument spirals out of control. The painting illustrates the impending doom of the situation, the grandiosity of the perpetrator and that although its a difficult subject its one many of us have faced or do face in our lives. 
As mentioned in previous blog posts I adore men, their beauty, strength and humour, but the flip side can be scary and painful to live with. I have also found from experience that theres a sense of theatre to much of an argument, whether that's the persons involved personalities or an unconscious homage to the violence in the media, I am unsure...I have lived through it, played my part in it, survived it and painted it.

Curtains Up

Curtains Up Acrylic on box canvas 12in x 12in

Curtains Up speaks differently to people. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, a singing? yawning? man. The image for me is the start of an argument, the point where it turns from heated discussion to the beginning of the battle, a fine line, a point which we can see crossed. The painting began in my mind with much more to it, words coming out of the mouth, an idea to try and capture the lessening of listening as the situation goes down the pan. In the end the image that I painted didn't need all the extras, just the mood, the expression and the lighting on the face captured the essence for me, which speaks out in many different ways to the viewer, probably to do with experience and expectation from life projected on to a frozen image.

Its title aptly describes the shenanigans we all come across that are employed when someone wants to make themselves heard over and above everything else. I do only apply, at the moment anyway, the depicting of these strong and often negative emotions to men, because its how I have experienced them, I can FEEL them, been on the receiving end of those emotions and behaviour, and hopefully bring them to life again in my paintings.

Why? I don't have the answer to that. Am more than sure these images don't have mass commercial appeal, that many won't even like them. Should that stop me painting them and hanker after painting something more appealing? I don't know. But for the time being anyway, I need to go along with this and see where it takes me, its a scary road, but one I am excited about and I can honestly say I am loving painting from this place. Maybe its a blind, arrogant egotistical place to paint from, but for me its just honest and free forming, allowing myself the creative freedom my current situation affords me, and one I am finally allowing myself, without the self imposed shackles, of paintings being universally saleable. Maybe the penny has finally dropped! Being an artist is the only profession you can remain penniless and still remain respectable with your dignity, if not bank balance intact ;-)

Double or nothing...

Jester 2 Pen, ink and graphitint pencil A2

Been a while since I blogged, but I have been painting, honest. Jester 2, is a sequential piece arising from Jester. I wanted to portray the two faced personality trait I come across from time to time. I used my original drawing and mirrored the face with some adjustment, but also I liked the way the arms mirrored, which seem to make sense at first glance but actually don't...possibly more of an expression of how I find personalities than the direct depiction of the 'two faced' aspect.

Again in the scribble series, aims to portray the smooth and shade with rough and line. The mask again hides the eyes (I see a pattern emerging, there must be something Freudian in there, somewhere) and reflects the deceit, lies, honesty and truth we are all capable of.

This drawing marked a shift for me, something changed inside me as an artist, a feeling which has reared it head before with fleeting glimpses (some of the male nudes and certainly the corseted women), to paint what I FEEL, not what I want people to admire. A risky move in some respects, as it leaves me wide open and vulnerable in many ways, marks out ever more clearly that I don't fit in (neither a good nor bad thing, it just is) be it my artwork or me generally. Quite a theme for me of recent weeks, and probably it having its roots planted in my art that have snaked out and unsettled most other areas of my life. I am now trying to be somewhat more positive and see it as a metamorphosis from my former self and art to a new and more reassured way of being. Time will tell I guess, but already the artwork means far more to me than it has done in years, as does the act of painting, I feel connected finally!