Curtains Up

Curtains Up Acrylic on box canvas 12in x 12in

Curtains Up speaks differently to people. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, a singing? yawning? man. The image for me is the start of an argument, the point where it turns from heated discussion to the beginning of the battle, a fine line, a point which we can see crossed. The painting began in my mind with much more to it, words coming out of the mouth, an idea to try and capture the lessening of listening as the situation goes down the pan. In the end the image that I painted didn't need all the extras, just the mood, the expression and the lighting on the face captured the essence for me, which speaks out in many different ways to the viewer, probably to do with experience and expectation from life projected on to a frozen image.

Its title aptly describes the shenanigans we all come across that are employed when someone wants to make themselves heard over and above everything else. I do only apply, at the moment anyway, the depicting of these strong and often negative emotions to men, because its how I have experienced them, I can FEEL them, been on the receiving end of those emotions and behaviour, and hopefully bring them to life again in my paintings.

Why? I don't have the answer to that. Am more than sure these images don't have mass commercial appeal, that many won't even like them. Should that stop me painting them and hanker after painting something more appealing? I don't know. But for the time being anyway, I need to go along with this and see where it takes me, its a scary road, but one I am excited about and I can honestly say I am loving painting from this place. Maybe its a blind, arrogant egotistical place to paint from, but for me its just honest and free forming, allowing myself the creative freedom my current situation affords me, and one I am finally allowing myself, without the self imposed shackles, of paintings being universally saleable. Maybe the penny has finally dropped! Being an artist is the only profession you can remain penniless and still remain respectable with your dignity, if not bank balance intact ;-)

Double or nothing...

Jester 2 Pen, ink and graphitint pencil A2

Been a while since I blogged, but I have been painting, honest. Jester 2, is a sequential piece arising from Jester. I wanted to portray the two faced personality trait I come across from time to time. I used my original drawing and mirrored the face with some adjustment, but also I liked the way the arms mirrored, which seem to make sense at first glance but actually don't...possibly more of an expression of how I find personalities than the direct depiction of the 'two faced' aspect.

Again in the scribble series, aims to portray the smooth and shade with rough and line. The mask again hides the eyes (I see a pattern emerging, there must be something Freudian in there, somewhere) and reflects the deceit, lies, honesty and truth we are all capable of.

This drawing marked a shift for me, something changed inside me as an artist, a feeling which has reared it head before with fleeting glimpses (some of the male nudes and certainly the corseted women), to paint what I FEEL, not what I want people to admire. A risky move in some respects, as it leaves me wide open and vulnerable in many ways, marks out ever more clearly that I don't fit in (neither a good nor bad thing, it just is) be it my artwork or me generally. Quite a theme for me of recent weeks, and probably it having its roots planted in my art that have snaked out and unsettled most other areas of my life. I am now trying to be somewhat more positive and see it as a metamorphosis from my former self and art to a new and more reassured way of being. Time will tell I guess, but already the artwork means far more to me than it has done in years, as does the act of painting, I feel connected finally!