Well the piece is finished and I have mixed feelings, as although I enjoyed it and its turned out OK, the distortion and possibly contortion of the figure jars somewhat. Possibly had I drawn the female form Modigliani style first and then drawn my version from it, it may have turned out better. Not for the bin, but certainly one to stay in the portfolio.
I have a more pressing situation on my mind. For around five months I was a nude model for a local artist. It was the challenge that drew me, as I have had in the past a very dim view of my body. I got fat, got thin, got pregnant, suffered allot of birth trauma physically, got fat again and then got way too thin, finally steadying down to a little larger than I am now. I decided to take a different approach to being more self accepting and went on a voluntary basis to sit for a total stranger (male) who paints VERY realistically (hes much like Freud) and had trial by fire.
It felt awkward and strange at first but then it became absolutely fine, totally no different than sitting there WITH my kit on. Well sadly the artist had to give up his studio so the painting didn't get completed. But today he gave me a bell and his exhibition opens tonight, and he REALLY wants me to go, as one of the initial sketches that was completed has been put up for all to see. Its really quite scary, as in theory I felt fine with this notion, that maybe one day I would be on public display, now that time has come I am very nervous and am seriously considering a disguise! Because a strange part of me is drawn to going, I don't feel I want to make my excuses. So I am going to go, but maybe via the real ale pub for a spot of dutch courage, so I dare walk in a gallery full of mainly strangers having a look at me and all the bits I don't like. Also there is a possibility that there is further modeling work for a class situation, and I have to ask myself is that scarier than modeling for a perfect stranger? I will have to wait and see.
The other reason I volunteered was to be around creativity and 'art' to try and bustle me along, and it did the trick. Just being around a painter really inspired me to WANT to paint, and I got to meet other artists in the HIVE and generally just make connections.
Which kind of lead me to thinking how much Twitter has become part of my life, having artists regularly popping up pictures of their latest works, and words about their trials and tribulations is just a fantastic thing! Being alone in a studio for hours at a time is both sublime and also my worst enemy, too polar conflicting feelings, and Twitter bridges some of the feelings of isolation, and for that I thank those lovely people! Keeps me motivated and away from the lows that can sometimes accompany being home alone for many hours.
I think that's about it, a world record, two blogs in as many days, so I shall be off and try and calm my nerves before I go tonight...I shall report back on what happened.
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